New Job, New Perspective

After a few weeks of down time, I went back out into the working world today. It felt great! I was so ready. It was nice to have some free time to be productive (wedding plans, immigration stuff, organizing my crap), get some rest, and be introspective. I definitely feel more grounded and confident, which took some time after the ridiculous and heinous drama in my last job (long story).

ANYWAYS so this new job will be a fun challenge as it is the first real clinical social work job I've had since college. I'm working as a social worker at a long-term care facility, primarily working with older adults. I've worked in medical and long-term care settings in the past but I had moved more to the policy/non-profit management side of things in grad school. It definitely feels like a good fit to go back to doing more direct contact with clients.

My social work "team" seems awesome so far, really cool people with friendly and warm personalities. I think we will work well together. I'm looking forward to learning more about their process and procedures, but today I jumped right in an did some assessments! I was a little rusty at first but my interview/assessment skills came back to me pretty quickly. Thanks, Juniata College social work department! :-D
I definitely enjoyed chatting with a few residents and getting to know their stories. It made me smile!

Seriously, compared to my last job, this is going to feel like a walk in the park. Here are some key differences that totally validated my choice to leave:

1) NORMAL WORKING HOURS. I work 8 hours (m-f), I go home and I have a life. Heck, tonight I went home, went to the gym, did chores, and even had a chance to talk to my family. Shocking, right?! And no work on the weekends....EVER! YIPPEEE

2) REASONABLE CASE LOAD. My last job involved casework, though not in a clinical sense. At that time, my case load was upwards of 100-150 cases at any given time. Now I have 30-40! Which explains why I will be able to leave the office by 5pm every day without nagging guilt :-)

3) MEANINGFUL WORK. This job is good for the soul! I will really feel like I am helping individuals and their families. Sure, as a social worker, I'm not always going to be the "good guy" so it's not going to be all roses and butterflies all the time, but at least I will receive support from my fellow social work team.

4) COMPETENT MANAGERS. In most organizations, the manager is the intermediary between the lower "front lines" staff and the powers that be at the top. A good supervisor/manager will find an appropriate balance between protecting the integrity of the organization, appeasing the big wigs at the top, and looking out for the well-being of the lower staffers. Priorities, roles, and goals are clearly defined and staff feel as though their supervisor is supportive when needed.

5) GOOD STAFF MORALE. It's been a while since I've heard staff laughing in an office. It's refreshing. People take a lunch break. People take a moment to talk about themselves, ask you about your interests, and share a smile. It makes a world of difference.

All-in-all, a very good start! I hope my first day was a good indication of a good professional experience to come!
Case in point--the first day of my former job started with major disorganization, lack of warm welcomes, and a co-worker making me cry. Needless to say, it continued that way for a year. Why didn't I quit that day? I felt frozen, trapped. I still don't have a good explanation for why I endured it for so long before taking action. But I'm glad I finally did.

Regardless of your field, everyone deserves to have the 5 aforementioned qualities in your job (and more, if you're lucky!!). Most studies indicate that people, on average, spend 20-30% of their lives at work (maybe more if you're a work-a-holic like me). That's a lot!! Make it count, people. Find a reason to smile. Find meaning in your work. If it's not a good fit, find a better one. When you're old and gray, do you want to look back and say you were miserable for 30% of your life? Of course not. It's not worth it. Think about it.

Okay enough of my idealistic preaching for tonight, dudes. Thanks to friends and fellow bloggers who wished me luck today and/or sent their positive vibes my way. It seems to have worked!

Have a happy Tuesday, y'all!

Love,
Amanda

Smooth Sailing Thus Far!

Folks, today was a great day. Wedding and immigration stuff was all going my way today! First, I took my parents to see Milton Ridge this morning. I was pretty nervous cause I loved the place and wasn't sure if my parents would be on the same page. They were skeptical at first but soon fell in love with the place and its charm. Once I get Kieran's final approval, we'll put a deposit down next week YAYAYAYAYA!! I can't wait to send out "save the date" cards now that we have a place.

Then, I got home and found a notice from USCIS in the mailbox! Unbelievable! I just sent off that application a week ago! I hope this is a sign of fast processing times to come. Basically it was a notice that they had received the application and were processing it. Yay! So far so good



When I got home I also had a long phone chat with a college friend who is getting married in the fall. It was nice to catch up and commiserate with the stress of wedding planning. Definitely made me feel more sane!

I can't even wait to start my new job on Monday. Having some time off has been super restful, useful, and somewhat productive--not counting the 35% of the time spent sleeping (no regrets!). But I love having a schedule and purpose to my day! Plus, I'm going to be doing a job that I think I am really going to enjoy. I am a social worker and my background is in aging. My last job was more political in nature and it just wasn't the right fit for me, even though I am interested in public policy. This job, in contrast, is going to be more direct clinical practice with older adults, so I think it's going to utilize my social work skills and be more rewarding overall. I sure hope so! It's always a little nerve-wracking starting a new job and being the new person, so please send your positive prayers and vibes my way!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. In DC we are having unbearable heat!! I think I got 2nd degree burns from touching my car's steering wheel! Stay cool, kids.

Love,
Amanda :-D

Culture Shock!

Being in a long-distance relationship for the past four years, Kieran and I are always communicating--daily phone calls, emails, letters, etc. You would think that we would run out of things to talk/write about and would already be experts on one another. But it always surprises me that some of the most simple topics like family, school, work, etc bring out our different experiences. Having grown up on different continents and immersed in our own cultures, we see the world differently. Even still, Kieran will use an English slang word and I will be totally lost.
"Whoa whoa whoa, wait a second, Kieran. What did you just say? You went to his gaff? What the hell is a gaff?"
And don't even get me started about the look on his face when I casually used the word "fanny," wrongfully assuming that Brits used that term for a person's butt! oh no!

Anyways, the most recent cultural discovery we made was in all this wedding planning. We are getting married in my home county, but I still wanted to incorporate some British/English traditions into the day. Little did I realize that there were some strange and large differences that I ran into! Here's a few big ones that Kieran clued me into:

1) THE SCHEDULE OF THE DAY:
Generally, because American weddings are rediculously expensive, an American wedding is generally 6-8 hours long. You have a 10-20 minute ceremony and a dinner/reception for the rest of it, depending on how many hours you've rented the space for.
In England, the wedding is an all-day event. I wish I could afford that!!

2) THE CAKE
In America, the wedding cake can be pretty much anything you want it to be. Nowadays, people are opting to have a cupcake tree in lieu of a tiered cake. However, the cake material is always the same--the type of stuff you'd expect when you hear the word "cake."
In England, the wedding cake is fruit cake with marzipan, similar to a Christmas fruit cake.
ALSO, you know how American couples do that annoying thing where they feed each other cake and smear their faces with delicious icing? Not in Britain!

3) TOP TIER CAKE TRADITION
Newlyweds in America will traditionally save the top tier of the cake and freeze/refridgerate it. On their first anniversary of marriage, the couple will eat the top tier for good luck.
In England, the top tier is also saved. However, the top tier is called a "Christening Cake" and is supposed to be shared after your first child is Christened.

4) THE HORSESHOE
It's customary for a British bride to carry a small horseshoe symbol somewhere on her person. Some have a small charm sewn into the hem of their dress. This is to bring good luck and good fortune to the marriage.

5) SIZE AND COST OF A WEDDING
Until very recently, English weddings were usually a modest to small size--70 guests or less. American weddings, in contrast, are considered "small" if there are less than 100 people in attendance. Not surprisingly, the average cost of an American wedding is double the amount that British weddings cost, factoring in conversion rates

It's so amazing how an international human experience like marriage can be celebrated in such different ways!

What other cool international wedding traditions have you heard of? I'd love some input!


Amanda <3

First comes love, then comes the wedding venue

I'M IN LOVE! With a wedding venue, that is!

On Friday, my bridesmaid Rachel and I went to see Milton Ridge, the last of the wedding venues. Part of me was really hoping I would be apathetic so I would have an easy decision to make. But I loved it! So now the booking is prolonged for a week cause I have to take my parents to see it next weekend. I hope they love it as much as I do.





I miss my Kieran so much! I really wish he was here to help with the planning stuff. It's hard for us both to have to share info via emails and pictures. Not quite the same. But I'm excited to be visiting him in England in about a month. Nan and Grandad London are having their 50th wedding anniversary celebrations so I am coming for about a week at the end of August to visit Kieran and the family. It will be a blasty! Meanwhile, there is talk of a BBQ/Engagement Party in the works which is sure to be awesome.

Alright so I have to share a recent phenomenon that is blowing my mind. Ever since we got engaged, I have encountered so many English connections and British-American couples in random situations. It's like fate trying to tell me that I'm right on track. The guy who sold me my engagement ring lived in England most of his life. The manager of a venue I visited was married to a Brit. I happened to meet a British dude on a bike trail in the area a few weeks ago. More recently, I was selling a desk on Craigslist and the dude who came over to my house to get it was saying that his wife is English and they are moving back to England in the winter. (sidenote: why they wanted a uge desk hdesk when they are moving in 6 months, I do not know). Then my mom just called me saying she met a photographer at work who is English and his wife is American. And it turns out his family lives in the same town as Kieran.
What the heck is going on? If this isn't my guardian angels trying to tell me "yay! everything is going to be awesome!" then I don't know what it is. But it's entertaining me.

In other news, I am bored out of my skull and can't wait to start my new job next Monday! I have enjoyed some relaxation time, but too much of a good thing can lead to excessive sleeping and laziness. True story.

Take care, folks!

Love,
Amanda

Have Woobie, Will Travel

Allow me to introduce a very special inanimate object in my life, the woobie. Yes, I am a grown woman and proud to say I have a security blanket. It all started with my late grandma Yvette who was a knitting/crocheting genius and at the news of my impending birth, she created this masterpiece from wool and love! The name "woobie" originated from a 1983 Michael Keaton film called Mr. Mom. Unlike the movie, my parents failed to successfully wean me from woobie when I was little. And so, the woobie remained!

I never travel without the woobie. The woobie has seen more of the US and the world than the average American! It's gone out west to the Grand Canyon, down south to Mexico, and up north to New York. It's been to England, Wales, Ireland, and Spain. Needless to say, this isn't the end of the woobie's travels so long as I have the travel bug myself!

When I was a kid, my parents and grandma used to joke around and say "hey Amanda are you taking your woobie to college with you? Are you gonna take it on your honeymoon?" You bet your ass I did and I will!! It's like an American Express card--I don't leave home without it!

Fortunately, Kieran understands that me and the woobie are a package deal. He has become accustomed to walking into a room to find that I have wrapped the woobie around my head for comfort after a long day. When I fall asleep on the couch, he wraps the woobie around my shoulders for me. He gets it. And that was surely a pre-requisite for a husband!

What can I say? Being a grown up is hard sometimes! Sure, a woobie doesn't solve my problems, but it's a soft place to rest my head while I am mulling over life's challenges and blessings.

What comforts you?

Love,
Amanda

visas, contracts, budgets, and bank accounts--the unglamorous side of wedding plans

Hey, y'all!

Yesterday I had lunch with my former co-worker and dear friend Monica. Fortunately for me, Monica has spent several years doing immigration casework on the Congressional level so I trusted her opinion immensely when it came to my I-129F "Petition for an Alien Fiance" application/portfolio. Once I got her trusty stamp of approval, I went to the post office and sent that big sucker out. The other patrons at the post office must have thought I was an OCD-ridden crazy person because I kept flipping through the pages, obsessively looking for mistakes and missing information. I must have put that binder in and out of the package about 10 times before I was content to finally seal it up and send it off. However, my soul died a little when I wrote that check for $455. Goddammit, love is expensive!! And it's definitely only the beginning.

Meanwhile now that the legal stuff is in motion, I really have to get serious about confirming a place and a date for the wedding. My parents have been so generous and supportive, but the downside to having my parents fund this wedding is that it's been difficult to really agree on the same places. One place I loved turned out to be twice the budget we could afford. Doody.
Then my parents fell in love with a Hilton nearby but Kieran and I hate the idea of a hotel wedding.
However, there's once place that we all keep coming back to and seem to agree that it's a lovely setting for the perfect price. I still have one more place to see on Friday that I need to rule out but it's getting close! Here are the places I'm considering:

The Inn at Brookeville Farms
www.theinnatbrookevillefarms.com
This place is right down the street from where I grew up and has the look and feel of a home-like setting for a wedding, I really like that.
Here are some pictures (NOTE: I got these from the venue's facebook page, I do not own these images):




The other place is call Milton Ridge.
http://www.miltonridge.com/
It's also in my home county, but it's a little different. It's like a one-stop-shop for everything wedding. They do everything on site, from food to DJs to hair & makeup. I like the idea that I can get everything I need directly from them, but I'm afraid it might come across as too tacky. I dunno, I really have to see the place in person before I can make a final judgment. It's hard to tell from a website. But it definitely got stellar reviews on different wedding websites, so that's a plus. It looks SO PRETTY in pictures, too.

Decisions, decisions!!


You know what made me smile today, though? I was talking to this lady on the phone from a venue I was considering. She was talking about what to expect at the reception on our wedding day. She goes, "then you and your husband will enter the room . . ." and I totally melted. I still get giddy butterflies when I say "fiance." I really can't wait til I can call Kieran my husband! :-D *siiiiighhh*

One of the things that really hit me about this whole process is beginning to understand the concept of "we" rather than "me." I'm an only child and have never been married so everything has always been my stuff, my money, my choices, my life, etc. When a few family members sent me money to congratulate us on the engagement, I had to stop and think about where I was going to put this money. I have to put it in an account where WE can use the money later on, together. I know it's going to be a day-to-day adjustment to break myself of "me me me" thinking, but all-in-all I'm grateful to be a WE, especially considering the lovely bloke who is gonna be the WE with me. Does that make sense?

Anyhoo, speaking of which, I am off to the bank to put the money in an account I won't touch! I promise I will control myself :-D

Love,
Amanda

If it's too big for a suitcase, it's outta here

So over the next 9 months, I am slow but surely (but mostly slowly) purging my crap from my parents' house. It's sad and horrifying how much stuff a person can accumulate from college onward! Going through my old, dusty, forgotten stuff is like walking back through memories of the past 6 years--one paper, book, and tacky area rug at a time.

I am no stranger to moving. I moved my stuff twice a year over my 4 years at college in PA...and always on the hottest day of the fall/spring, I might add! Every car ride back home to Maryland got more and more cramped with all the accumulated furniture and memories. Then last year Kieran and I made a big move to Baltimore for a year while we both studied in the city and collected even more stuff--I fell in love with cooking and needed kitchen toys!

Now, in addition to my random knick-knacks and furniture from college--my two bedroom apartment worth of furniture and appliances is now crammed into the basement.

Needless to say, I can't take this stuff with me. International flights generally let you take 2 checked bags on board and I still haven't decided if I'm going to ship boxes of stuff to England. Honestly, I am kind of in love with the idea of a fresh start with bare essentials...packing my life into 2-3 bags and building a new life from scratch. It's weird cause I'm generally pretty anal and attached to my stuff, but I'm pretty swept up in the adventure of it all!

Anyways, so Craigslist has been my BFF in my efforts to downsize and put a few bucks in my pocket. Not to mention charities like AmVets and Purple Heart who are more than happy to take boxes of my neglected things and flip it into meaningful profit--more power to them! Meanwhile, it's been payment enough just to see my mom's happiness at the prospect of actually having her basement back. But something tells me she'll miss those fugly college area rugs when they're gone.

Holy crap, did I just say 9 months?! My account at TheKnot.com is giving me daily panic attacks, as they continue to email me to remind me that I have 12,234,501,744 wedding planning things that I have yet to accomplish. Stop rushing me, TheKnot.com! Goshhhh!

Ciao,
Amanda

Love, marriage, and immigration (in no particular order)

These are my favorite pages from my newly-completed "Petition for an Alien Fiance" application portfolio thingie for US Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS). I'm pretty sure USCIS won't necessarily "ooo" and "awww" at my cutesy stickers and style, but it made me smile to make it!

Kieran and I met 4 years ago, both working as camp counselors at a residential summer camp in New York. We were both 20 and in the middle of undergraduate school in our respective countries. I certainly wasn't expecting to find my soul mate. Further, I wasn't expecting my soul mate to be from another country. Before I met Kieran, I didn't know anything about England or the UK. I didn't even know that England had a different flag from the traditional UK "Union Jack." Meeting Kieran and other British people recruited through Camp America really opened up my world. Within 3 weeks of meeting each other, Kieran and I were inseparable.

I didn't know a darn thing about immigration and its obstacles back then. I am glad I didn't cause I was always naively optimistic. By the time I figured out the immigration barriers ahead of us, I was already deeply in love and not willing to give up. The refusal to give up on the special connection we had because of laws and citizenship was the thing that kept us both going strong all these years. We went back and forth on temporary visas--student visas, visa waiver visits, etc. None of it was a permanent solution but we were happy just to have more time together. When we didn't have a legal way to be together, we tried to be content with brief visits 4 times a year, daily phone calls, and romantic snail mail packages and letters.

Now that Kieran and I were finally out of school (for now, anyways!) and starting our first jobs, we realized that the immigration walls were closing in. We were running out of temporary options. Not to mention that we were both growing weary and impatient with the long-distance arrangement. So on a trip last month to Cancun for a much-needed vacation, Kieran popped the big question and thus our next chapter began!

Unfortunately we are still apart right now, because legally we can only work in our respective countries, but I am so happy that we are only 10 or 11 months away from putting this long-distance crap behind us, once and for all!! But holy crap, trying to plan a Maryland wedding when the groom and the groom's whole family are across the pond--it is hard! Plus, I feel sad going on reception/ceremony site tours without Kieran. I know it's going to be a beautiful and lovely wedding, but I wish he was here to share in the planning!

I just have to hope and pray that USCIS processes the fiance visa in time. Average processing time is about 5 months, but I worked for the federal government long enough to know that "average processing times" don't always work out that way. Trying not to stress, putting faith in the fact that the application is complete and flawless and hope it speaks for itself!!

Well tomorrow I am off to another wedding venue tour. Right now I'm between 2-3 venues so I'm trying to narrow it down in the next month. So crazy! I'm so glad my parents are here to keep me sane for the time being, even though my mom is clearly sad about my impending move. Just trying to keep the parents excited about the wedding and the planning and distracting them from what happens after that. It seems to be working right now, so we'll see how it goes :-D

Okay mom is beckoning me to watch "Say Yes to the Dress" with her! Gotta Go!

<3 Amanda

First Post!

Howdy!

It's been forever since I've blogged regularly...I'm a little rusty. I hope to keep up with this blog better than I have in the past. That's for three reasons 1) "writing it out" to preserve my own sanity; 2) to connect with other bloggers who are in the same boat; and 3) to keep family and friends posted when I'm move!

My life is going to change SO MUCH in the next 10 months and beyond! I'm getting married in April to the love of my life, Kieran, who just so happens to be a Brit. It's crazy enough to plan a wedding and wrap my brain around being a "newlywed," but I'm also going to be moving to England after the wedding. I can't wait!

My first hurdle is this wedding planning stuff which is really doing my head in already and I just got engaged last month! But as the months go on, the reality of my trans-atlantic move will really sink in! Taking one day at a time right now.

More updates soon! Thanks for reading!

Amanda :-)